Thursday, December 19, 2013
I'm a pretty damn positive person.
It's a truth that I can't shake. It doesn't matter if things are slowly imploding around me, if the world seems like it's going to crash on top of me, I always try to look for that small speck of light that's hiding in all the darkness. I've had my fair share of dark times. I've seen what it looks like when you feel like nothing is going right and there can't POSSIBLY be anything ahead of you. Still, I've fought. I've won. I think that's why I'm always trying to spread that positivity when someone else needs it. Being along in the dark? It sucks.
The problem is that sometimes that well only runs so deep. With everything that's been going on lately (and no, it's not bad... just stressful) I don't have the energy to be as giving with people as I normally am. I'm gone 13 hours a day. I had to give up things up to make this new schedule work that I miss fiercely. There's just not enough time in the day. Things are moving, but they're moving slowly and still aren't certain. Being uncertain of things is my least favorite feeling in the world. Unfortunately? That's the way it is a lot. That's life.
Anyway the worst part of this all is that I can't help feeling like a bad friend. I forget to return text messages. I have less time to spend with others. I'll go days and days without remembering to say hi to the people that mean so much to me. I'm lucky that most of the people I adore understand. I'm lucky. I know that.
The point is, things are a bit in turmoil right now. Again, it's not anything bad. We've just come to a point in our lives where life threw up a speed bump, but he also opened a whole lot of doors to opportunities too. It's easy enough for me to say "Well, let's just see where it goes." It's harder to put that into practice and keep my mind from running circles around possibilities. I know one thing for sure. I'm a lucky girl to be surrounded with so many people who listen. To have a husband who understands, and to have a relationship that is strong.
See, I'm still a positive person. Just pardon me for a bit if I'm not as talkative on here, not as bouncy, and not as emotionally giving as normal. I'm still here! I'm still me. I'll bounce back. That's what strong women do. We take life as it comes, and when it misbehaves? We kick it in the face ;).
Thanks for listening to my rambling.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
I'm reeling over here. I can't believe that there is only one more month left until a new year begins! On the one hand I'm extremely excited about it. On the other? I'm pretty terrified. I turn the big THREE-OH this next year. As much as I'd like to proclaim that I don't care, that it's just a number, what it means is that I'm moving on into a whole new chapter in my life. No more 20's. On to the next adventure.
On the bright side, it seems that things are actually falling into place all of the sudden. Anyone who knows us knows that we've been wishing for something more. I can't complain, honestly. We have jobs, we have a nice apartment, and we have enough. Enough to eat, enough to go out, even enough to save sometimes. Still, as we edge into the next part of our lives, we want something more. I want to start a family, I want a home, and right now we just aren't able to do that. So, we're moving on. Sometimes being an adult means giving up one thing in favor of another. I've learned that. So 2014 is going to bring a lot of change! You'll see what I mean as the year starts. I have lots and lots of updates coming!
Anyway this last month of the year I'm going to relax, and let things take their course. If there's one thing I've learned throughout the last year, it's that whatever will be, will be. So bring it on 2014. I'm going to be ready.