Friday, August 4, 2017

Old British Lady Status

Embroidery is my newest undertaking!

I'd like to pretend that I'm all young and hip, but the only thing pointing to that is my love of expensive, fancy food. Hahaha. All other signs point to the fact that I'm actually an old British woman at heart. Tea in the mornings? Check. Embroidery in a comfy chair? Check. Reading and then falling asleep at a very late 9:30 pm? Check. Yup, all signs point to old lady. I'm okay with that.

When I first saw hand embroidery at work, I wanted so badly to try it. I did some research, found a really cute beginner project, and ordered it all the way from Israel. Now that I've been working on it? Well, I'm in love. I can say however that it's a LOT of work. Cross stitch has nothing on embroidery. This is so precise, so intricate, and I'm in love with how much passion has to go into it. If you own anything hand embroidered, cherish it. Someone really, really worked for that.

I've kind of just been keeping a low profile. I bought a super comfy reading chair, and I've been spending my time sitting in it, musing, napping, and spending time with the puppy. I'm in this place right now where things are good, and I feel content. I'm happy about that! Trying to focus on the good.

Friday, July 7, 2017


Current Obsession: Cross-Stitch

As my project says: Life is Good.

If you haven't noticed yet, I go through hobbies on a rotating basis. One year, I knit or crochet. The next year, I am obsessed with nail polish, and the following year I spend entirely too much money on video games. It's always been like that. Now? I'm all about cross-stitch. It helps me achieve that weird balance between fierce concentration and relaxation. I don't understand it, but it helps with my anxious feelings. So yay for that!

Birthday weekend was amazing. I saw a hilarious musical, hung out with amazing people, ate entirely too much scrumptious food, laughed a ton, and napped in hammock. After coming back from vacation, and then feeling like I was sliding back into a funk, this last weekend really helped a lot. Work gets stressful, but friends keep me grounded. My 30's have been treating me well.

Next cross-stitch project is a tiny one, then on to a set of bibs for a friend who is having a baby! I'm excited :).

Thursday, June 22, 2017

*peeks in*

Me: You should totally go write in your blog today.

Also Me: But yeah, you could also just read or take a nap?

Oh look, it's already almost the end of June, and I haven't written in here since January. I wonder why that is (she says while smiling like a maniac and pointing at the words above). Yeah, I've been kind of lazy about this. Also though, it's because I've been practicing mega self care this year. If I want to nap, I nap. If I want to cross stitch, I cross stitch. If I want to lay in the hammock and stare at the sky and do absolutely nothing at all? Well, you get the point. I didn't feel like writing. So I didn't write. Now I do.

I get all introspective when it gets close to my birthday. Like, what have I accomplished over the last year and am I proud of the way that 32 panned out for me? Am I ready to turn 33? Which, honestly, is totally a trick question because it's happening either way. Ha. This year though, I'm pretty damn proud of myself! I've done a lot. I've stepped out my comfort zone, I've been happier than I have in a long time, I've just been feeling like things are going well. This year I can honestly say that I'm ready for 33. I'm not even a little bit worried about it.

With the exception of 2015, which we shall remember but try not to dwell on, my 30's have actually been quite fabulous so far. I've got an amazing husband, a giant love bug dog, a house that makes me happy whenever I'm in it, a job I actually enjoy, and friends who understand when I need to take a step away to be introverted for a while and recuperate. I've traveled, made memories, eaten amazing food, learned new things, and surprised myself with how well I've managed my anxiety. It still tries to crop up every now and then, I might even let it win out for a short bit, but I've learned how to acknowledge it and shape it into something I understand. That, above all else, has been a win.

Let the birthday week officially commence, this weekend! I'm ready for it.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Highlights of 2016

So, although I didn't keep up with this blog as well as I wanted to last year, I still did a pretty decent amount of writing! Best of all, I kept a pretty good paper journal as well. All in all, I was happy with how much of 2016 I actually documented. It was a good year overall! I thought I'd start 2017 with some highlights of 2016, to remind myself of what I have to be thankful for.

* We got a house in 2016! Finally, after two years of pining and waiting we were told in February 2016 that the house was ours, and we got to move in during April 2016. I can't believe we've almost lived there for a year now. I LOVE our home. It's my happy space.

* We adopted a puppy! She's the most hyper, most lovable, most frustrating, most fun part of my daily routine. Every time we teach her something new, I feel so proud. She's the best bedtime snuggle buddy ever. Plus she helps keep my anxiety at bay, and I love it.

* I spent way more time with friends and family! 2015 wasn't a great year for interactions, because I just wasn't feeling great. Last year I vowed to spend more time out, even when I wasn't feeling it, and I did. We had tons of dinner parties, rogue movie watching nights, went to events and traveled to see family. It was good for my soul.

* I made it through a whole year without letting my depression/anxiety get the best of me. There were days that were an uphill battle. There were times when I would have much rather stayed in bed all day than get up and actually face the world. I did it though. I pushed for the good, and faced the bad. I accepted the way I felt and took some days one hour at a time. I did it though, and I'm damn proud of myself.

* I made MEMORIES. So many memories. I've vowed 2017 will be the year of experiences, and not so much tangible items. It's easy to get caught up in buying things. I want to gain experiences instead. So, I started 2017 out with my very first RAVE. I love having a sister who is my partner in crime, who will push me out of my little comfort zone and go with me to a place that I had never been before. It was the best experience EVER. The people were amazing, the music was intense and intoxicating. Everything about that night was fabulous. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I'm not really setting any goals or resolutions for 2017. Other than to open myself up to new experiences, of course. I'm just going to take things as they come. 2017 will be a year of exploration, introspection and, most exciting of all, growth. Here's to turning 33! I can't wait to see what it brings.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

That Puppy Love

When I first decided that I wanted a dog, way back when we still lived in our second apartment, and weren't able to have one, I always knew it would be an undertaking. What I didn't know, that I wish I could go back and tell my past self? Getting a puppy is 10x the work of getting an older dog. I don't know that I'd go back and change our decision, because Luna is the cutest thing on the history of the planet, but man I'm learning a lot from this experience.

This is Ms. Luna Lovegood Nottingham. She's an American Bulldog and currently (looks at calendar) just about 14 weeks. Which means, that we've had for about 6 weeks and I am not lying at all when I say that time has completely flown by! This little girl grows like a weed. When we got her she was all roly poly and full of extra skin. Now, right before my eyes, I've gotten to see her transform into a strong and intelligent little miss.

It's been interesting to see how her capabilities change, even by the week. First we learned potty training, then sitting, then laying down, and the list goes on and on. I have such a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that she's so smart (and also completely stubborn) with her own little personality. Yes, she drives us completely batty at times. But the fact that we're her world, B and I, it makes me smile. Even when I'm kind of upset at her for doing something wrong, I love her to death.

What's funny is that I used to look at people with pets and wonder why they were always so intent on pampering them, and praising them. Well, I learned my lesson quickly. It's because there's this whole level of unconditional love there that is just intoxicating. Dogs are excited when they wake up. They're excited when you come home. They snuggle. They want to chase. They just want to lay their head on your lap and stare at you lovingly. What other entity in the world is that giving of their love? It makes me want to earn that, and so I sigh and put up with the accidents, and the teething, and the fussiness. She's worth it.

Truth be told, I think this whole process has been a great lesson for B and I. We've learned a lot about ourselves, our tolerance levels and how to factor another being into our daily schedule. It's also been a groan inducing, hilarious, romp through figuring out how to deal with Ms. Luna and all her quirks.

Puppies are not for the faint of heart, people. Not at all. But in my opinion? Luna is so worth it.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Patio Musings

It's much too beautiful a day to be inside, so I'm out on the patio at the table. Sitting here makes me wonder, how many people actually utilize the patio furniture that they buy? Are there more people out there, like me, who spend actual time in their backyard for reasons other than barbequing or entertaining? I could sit out here all day, with my laptop and a stack of books. That's why I bought this damn thing ;).

I know I haven't been typing here quite as much. I was shooting for once a week, but then my journal itch started up and suddenly my paper journal became the haven I needed for my words. I bought myself a pack of colorful gel pens, and I've been scribbling away in my mad handwriting. Documenting feelings, both the good days and the bad days. When I was younger I used to try to only write the good things in my journal. But then I realized that isn't a valid representation of who I am. There are good days, there are bad days, and sometimes there are those balanced days that are a bit of both. What's the use of trying to lie about it? If I can't be honest with myself, then there's no purpose at all to writing things down. So I've tried my best to just write whatever the hell I feel. If it makes no sense to anyone else but me once in a while, so be it. So be it.

Happily, having a quiet place to retreat to has really improved my mood. Spending time out here, spending time on the couch in a patch of sun (I may or may not secretly be a cat), has gotten to be something that I do often. I still keep up with chores, and cook, and do other adult type things. But I don't feel guilty about taking a few hours for myself either. As the laundry spins happily in the dryer, I'm outside and typing. It's all about balance.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Lazy? Or relaxing?

I choose to use the word "sluggish", rather than lazy to describe this weekend. "Lazy" has so much negative connotation behind it. In a world where people are constantly on the go, always having to move quickly, it's seen as a waste of time to relax. Even when people are on vacation, they end up spending so much time on tours, hikes, and events that they forget to just unwind. To just be still.

If there's one thing that I've learned in life, and that I actually had to stop and remind myself of lately, it's that it's okay to be still once in a while. It's perfectly okay to sit quietly on the couch, and rest. Or to read in your favorite chair, for hours. Or, in my case, to drag everything you want to do for the day out to the lawn, and enjoy the sunshine.

When I was younger, I used to understand how important that was. On summer days, I'd take an armful of supplies out on the lawn and stay out there all day. Books, journals, snacks, and a bottle of water. All piled up in my arms so that I could hang out in nature until it got too cold to stay there. I loved the bird song. I love the rustle of wind in the grass and trees. I loved the kiss of sun on the back of my neck. To be still, and appreciate being outdoors.

I needed that this weekend, and so I relived it. And you know what? It worked like a charm. Never underestimate the power of being calm. Of being content. Of being relaxed. It's okay to hustle! But it's also okay to take a quiet day to yourself.