Balance.

This is a word that I've had to acquaint myself with this year, and it's one that's become the center of everything that I do. I think we, as a society, see this word around a lot and kind of just ignore it. Work/life balance. Sure, when I'm retired. A balanced diet? Obviously you have no idea how busy I am, and how hard it is to plan ahead and eat like that. Too much work. We look at that word, we see it a cliche, and we move on without figuring out why we just can't seem to get things to work out the way we want them to. I've set out to make this word a part of who I am this year and, you know what? It's amazing how well it actually works when you apply balance to your life.

Take today, for example. It's Sunday, which means it's the end of my weekend. My anxiety controlled brain is screaming at me that I need to finish all the chores I won't have time for throughout the week. There are dishes to be done, laundry to be washed, things to put away, things to tidy, a stack of books I haven't touched in two weeks, and heaven forbid that I enter the week without making sure that we have enough snacks for lunches all week. Before I started focusing on balance, I would have spent all of Sunday rushing through chores and feeling like any downtime that I spent doing anything else was time wasted. I'd be exhausted, and unhappy, and go to bed feeling like my weekend wasn't a weekend.

Now, I remind myself to slow it down. For every chore I finish, I take an hour of time to do whatever I want. Or, if I can, I work things I want to do into things I have to do. I slowly work my way through laundry while binge watching Netflix shows. I do the dishes while listening to a podcast, or audio book, and stop periodically to rest or eat something. I pull away from everything, grab a book, and go snag a nap in hammock outside so that I can enjoy the weather. Lo and behold, every chore gets done. Perhaps it takes a bit longer than before. Maybe only 75% of the laundry gets done. Maybe some small amount of dishes will have to be washed tomorrow before I make dinner. But I get me time. I get rest time. I get a weekend.

That's balance.

Eating excellently all work week and taking a Saturday to eat pizza and frozen yogurt sometimes? That's balance.

Spending as much time as possible with friends, but also remembering that it's okay to take an afternoon to myself and just putter around? That's balance.

It's not always easy to maintain, true, but that's part of the balancing act too. I've learned not to be too hard on myself either.