It's much too beautiful a day to be inside, so I'm out on the patio at the table. Sitting here makes me wonder, how many people actually utilize the patio furniture that they buy? Are there more people out there, like me, who spend actual time in their backyard for reasons other than barbequing or entertaining? I could sit out here all day, with my laptop and a stack of books. That's why I bought this damn thing ;).
I know I haven't been typing here quite as much. I was shooting for once a week, but then my journal itch started up and suddenly my paper journal became the haven I needed for my words. I bought myself a pack of colorful gel pens, and I've been scribbling away in my mad handwriting. Documenting feelings, both the good days and the bad days. When I was younger I used to try to only write the good things in my journal. But then I realized that isn't a valid representation of who I am. There are good days, there are bad days, and sometimes there are those balanced days that are a bit of both. What's the use of trying to lie about it? If I can't be honest with myself, then there's no purpose at all to writing things down. So I've tried my best to just write whatever the hell I feel. If it makes no sense to anyone else but me once in a while, so be it. So be it.
Happily, having a quiet place to retreat to has really improved my mood. Spending time out here, spending time on the couch in a patch of sun (I may or may not secretly be a cat), has gotten to be something that I do often. I still keep up with chores, and cook, and do other adult type things. But I don't feel guilty about taking a few hours for myself either. As the laundry spins happily in the dryer, I'm outside and typing. It's all about balance.